Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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