Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
