My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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