Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
