i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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