Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dignity is for republicans.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
