I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
