Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
