She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
