my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
