That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
