In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
