The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Randomize
