I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
