Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Alive.
So much puke
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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