lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize