so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
