I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
