are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize