Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Come on in and take your pants off
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