We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
