Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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