hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Watching her eat just hurts me
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
