you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
