i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
