well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
