ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
