I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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