yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
false alarm, still single
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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