you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
