I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
me + whiskey = a bad person
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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