did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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