even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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