She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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