He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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