Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
