awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
