You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
