I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize