no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize