Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
