I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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