Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
