I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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