It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
