You smell like a Billy Joel song
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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