look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
