Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
