we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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