i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize