Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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