Yo dont text me then not text me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
