Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
