Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
