I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
