Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
