he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
