buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
