Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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