So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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