Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
