You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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