all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
