I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
