She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
